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Sounds kinda lame to say I know how you feel - but I do. I've been down this route several times before, and I'm glad I never realized it.
A famous swedish singer once put out an album called (roughly translated): " Why kill yourself when you won't hear what they say afterwards?" and that's what I repeat to myself when I get to thinking like that. Death may be the end of sorrows, but it's also the end of everything else - the end of every chance to make a better life for you and the ones close to you.
I sincerely hope you won't leave us, DJ..
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