March 13 Jokes

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:51 AM

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... D on't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:52 AM

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:52 AM

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:52 AM

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:53 AM

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:53 AM

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:53 AM

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:54 AM

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:54 AM

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:54 AM

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my l ifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

cool1 · 03-13-2008, 08:55 AM

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - beer in one hand - steak in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Auf Mauf · 03-13-2008, 09:04 AM

Hehe some of this are really funny.

fresh · 03-13-2008, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool1

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

hahha thats awesome

AbsolutePorn · 03-13-2008, 06:29 PM

Thanks for the jokes bro!!!

Dupont · 03-13-2008, 08:54 PM

those were great

D · 03-13-2008, 08:59 PM

Funny Stuff. :-)

ScreaM · 03-14-2008, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool1

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

LOL! This was funny.

cool1 · 03-14-2008, 09:22 AM

Thanks everyone

gecko · 03-15-2008, 12:40 AM

lol... good ones

03-13-2008, 08:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	March 13 Jokes HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... D on't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. __________________

03-13-2008, 08:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products __________________

03-13-2008, 08:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! __________________

03-13-2008, 08:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. __________________

03-13-2008, 08:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! __________________

03-13-2008, 08:53 AM	#6 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? __________________

03-13-2008, 08:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. __________________

03-13-2008, 08:54 AM	#8 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!! __________________

03-13-2008, 08:54 AM	#9 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. __________________

03-13-2008, 08:54 AM	#10 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Q: Is getting in-shape important for my l ifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! ! __________________

03-13-2008, 08:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - beer in one hand - steak in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!" __________________

03-13-2008, 09:04 AM	#12 (permalink)
Auf Mauf Is Aga really Little Buddha? Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Macedonia Posts: 2,218 Points: 3,950	Hehe some of this are really funny. __________________ **EXCLUSIVE ADULT DVD LICENSES* "Courier New"]20% OFF ANY 3 Critical-X, Madness, Mach2 & Pandemonium DVDs!!!!

03-13-2008, 06:29 PM	#14 (permalink)
AbsolutePorn www.TripleX-Studios.com Join Date: May 2005 Location: SEO and Plugins Install on BLOGS - 8$ Posts: 15,854 Points: 420	Thanks for the jokes bro!!! __________________ Got Shemale Blogs? Free Traffic For You. Porn Bookmarks - Shemale Porn - Voyeur Camera

03-13-2008, 08:54 PM	#15 (permalink)
Dupont TCG makes the world go round Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 26,136 Points: 1,100	those were great __________________

03-13-2008, 08:59 PM	#16 (permalink)
D im not here for the points it just looks like i am Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The Valley Posts: 14 Points: 70	Funny Stuff. :-) __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31 // d[[at]]hushinc.com www.hushmoney.com // www.hush-hushentertainment.com

03-14-2008, 09:22 AM	#18 (permalink)
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: WPG, MB, Canada Posts: 16,670 Points: 885	Thanks everyone __________________

03-15-2008, 12:40 AM	#19 (permalink)
gecko Join the Royal Family! Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 3,028 Points: 917	lol... good ones __________________ [TeenSexMovs][SoloTeenGirls][Teens3Some]

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