Dec 2 Daily Joke

[cool1]

A grumpy old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes, the grumpy old man cane slips on the floor and he falls.

As he gets up, a ten-year-old kid, sitting nearby turns to him and says, "Sir if you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."

The grumpy old man snaps back, "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today".

[cool1]

There's a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink...
One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp...
Then he turned to Bob and said, "Times are getting tough my friend, I mean, just today my wife told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week...
I can't believe it"...
At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and said reassuringly,
"Damn Jeff, You think you've got it bad, she's cut some guys out all together"

[cool1]

Christmas morning a boy rides down the road on his brand new bike when a cop on a horse rides up beside him and says "Did Santa bring you that bike?"
"yea" the boy replies.
"Well maybe next year you can ask Santa to give you a helmet for that bike" and proceeds to write that boy up a 20 dollar ticket.
As the boy rides away on his bike he turns around and says to the police man "Did Santa bring you that horse?"
humoring the boy he says "sure"
"Well maybe next year you can ask Santa to put the dick on the bottom of the horse a instead of on top!"

[cool1]

A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown"

The small white guy faints! The big dude picks up the small guy, brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, and asks the small guy. "What's wrong?"

The small white guy says, "Excuse me but what did you say?" The big dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy replies, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around'."

[cool1]

A guy comes home at 3 o'clock in the morning.

He has obviously had more than his share of booze.

His wife meets him at the front door, and the following conversation ensues:

"Where in the fuck have you been?"

"Hey, mama, I was just out having a good time!"

"Well, how much money did you spend?"

"Ninety dollars."

"WHAT!? Ninety Dollars! You asshole, do you know how long ninety dollars would last me?"

"Hmmmm well....ya don't drink...ya don't smoke...ya got yer own pussy .... probably forever!"

[Blinky]

LMAO at the last one, great stuff

[CoolJay]

A grumpy old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes, the grumpy old man cane slips on the floor and he falls.

As he gets up, a ten-year-old kid, sitting nearby turns to him and says, "Sir if you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."

The grumpy old man snaps back, "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today".

:lmao:

[Kero]

hahahahaha

[Paul&John]

last and first lolol

[DirtyJumbo]

I love the last one LMAO